A CAUTIONARY TALE! WHO'S AT THE DOOR?
MY MAIN SQUEEZE HEAVEN IS A PLACE...
A CAUTIONARY TALE... Wherever you go on safari you see the same kind of signs... 'DON'T FEED THE ANIMALS!' they shriek at you.... the trouble is that there are a lot of furry, feathery and scaly things out there with incredibly cute faces.... and, it appears, they know it....
We were staying at the Mara Serena Lodge where there is a resident group of rock hyrax living in the grounds. (For those of you who have never had the pleasure of meeting a hyrax (also known as dassie in some parts of Africa) - check the photo to the right.... look at that innocent smile!). All animals in the game parks are used to the presence of man and some are quite fearless and will walk all over you (literally) without turning a hair.... but this group of hyrax were particularly tame. They were also very greedy... they especially liked the fresh bread rolls that the restaurant served at breakfast...
Now I'm not saying that Rob's a sucker - but anything in Africa with a cute face that wants feeding is usually onto a winner with him. I am sometimes amazed that he has come through 14 safaris with four limbs. Inevitably, hyrax have a good week when he's around.... (See Photos Page 1 for the evidence... though this is a different lodge....). One day however, he ran out of food... he put his hand down to show the hyrax that he had nothing left and (whether on purpose or by accident we're not sure) he got bitten on the finger.
Knowing the danger of animal bites in Africa we rushed to the room and I drenched the small deep cut in antiseptic. Hyrax have small teeth as sharp as razor blades and the cut looked very clean - so we put a plaster on it and went to check with the Lodge whether there was anything to worry about. They gave us that disapproving 'We-told-you-not-to-feed-them!' look but said 'no - there was nothing to worry about infection-wise...' but something kept nagging at the back of my mind...
When we got back to England (and even though the cut had healed up without a trace of infection) I said 'Look Rob - you were bitten by a wild animal. Perhaps you should check with the Doctor anyway' and eventually, more to keep me quiet than anything I think, he went. The Doctor took a look at the finger said it looked OK but, like a lot of people, he didn't know what a hyrax was or whether it carried possible infection - but he said he would make enquiries and ring back. Rob came home again and an hour later we got a frantic phone call from the Doctor.....
'Right!' he said in that voice that tells you all is not well...'I've checked your hyrax out and it appears that they can carry the rabies virus and it is endemic in that part of Africa. So I'm afraid you will have to go to the Heartlands Hospital right now, collect all the vaccines you need plus all the Public Health forms you will need to sign - I've told them you will be there within half an hour... Bring them straight back to me and I will start you on the course of injections - we must do this straight away as you should have started these the day you were bitten....' I cannot tell you what a feeling of sheer panic that brings...
But of course that is what we did - and Rob started a long course of treatment and a few months of serious worry, wondering if he was going to wake up foaming at the mouth one morning or start trying to bite the dog....
It was our vet who actually, eventually, put our mind at rest a little and even gave us a smile... I rang him to ask what he knew about rabies and explained what had happened. 'These hyrax' he said 'Did they show any signs of rabies - such as hydrophobia?' 'Not exactly' I replied 'In fact they were bathing under the garden sprinklers and sleeping on the sunbeds around the swimming pool...' 'Mmmmmmm' said the vet, 'Not what you'd call classic signs of hydrophobia! I think you're probably OK.....' And Rob is..... but he is also slightly more wary of cute, furry faces with sharp teeth and tends to keep his bread rolls to himself.... so far.....
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WHO'S AT THE DOOR? The first true safari we went on (as opposed to day trips into the parks from Mombasa...) took us to Keekorok Lodge in the Maasai Mara Game Reserve. Everything was strange and exciting (for me it has never stopped being...) - and it's where I can truly say that I fell in love with Kenya.
Keekorok is accessible by any animal that cares to walk through - though this is not as dangerous as one might think as wild animals of the predatory or troublesome kind tend, in the main, to stay away from the lodges. However - there is nothing to stop them coming up to any of the buildings if they have a mind... and, for me, that frisson of danger is as much a part of the enjoyment as anything else...
Our chalet at the lodge had a narrow patio that opened out onto the wide open spaces of the savannah and I remember waking up in the middle of the first night sleeping there - I could hear strange animal noises in the distance and the occasional sounds of feet scampering across the roof - and I couldn't resist creeping across to the window... I pulled back the curtains and nearly jumped out of my skin... There - with it's head across the patio - nose inches from the glass, was a zebra - which doesn't sound too frightening I know - but I'm not used to seeing zebras in the middle of the night and I did, momentarily, catch my breath - until I realised what it was. However - the zebra wasn't used to seeing me in the middle of the night either (not a pretty sight...!) and he soon turned tail and ran....
Rob also woke up and couldn't resist opening the front door to the chalet to see what had decided to come up and graze on the lawn outside. For the first couple of nights there was nothing more threatening out there than a few antelope of one sort or another but I still didn't feel too easy about him opening the door. On the third night I awoke to see him striding across the bedroom for the usual look-around and I said 'Please - before you open the door - just check what's out there from the bathroom window!' (It being several feet from the front door on the same side). He said 'OK' and went to have a look..... then I heard an 'Ahhh, yes... well!' come from the bathroom...
He came back looking slightly sheepish - 'Good job I didn't open the front door' he said, 'We've got a full grown hyena sitting on the doorstep....!'
Now I like hyenas.... in fact I love 'em. They are my favourite animal on the African plains - if only because I think they've been dealt a really rotten hand by Mother Nature. They look as if they've been put together from spare parts - most of which were left because no other self-respecting animal could possibly want them..... their front legs are too long for the back ones (so they look as if they're permanently walking uphill) and they have a lot of undesirable habits... They are bold, almost fearless in fact (they will try to steal the prey off any of the big carnivores...), they take skulking almost to a performance art and they have a permanently guilty look on their faces. My heart goes out to them. Against all odds I have, however, managed to take a photo of one looking fairly cute (above).
But that doesn't mean to say that I relish the thought of one sitting on my doorstep or being kicked up the back end by my husband strolling out of the door in the middle of the night....
But - the incident taught us to never forget where we were... In the bush or on the savannah - if you're not in the safety of a vehicle or a closed room, it pays to keep your wits about you and be observant. Monkeys and baboons are delightful to watch - but leave your room open and they will clean you out of house and home... Leave your breakfast in the open for 30 seconds and you will come back to find birds fighting over the last of the remains... Open the door in the night and you might find that you've bitten off more than you can chew - or rather someone else has bitten off a body part you were rather fond of.... But that's all part of the lure of Africa...
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MY MAIN SQUEEZE... There are some animals (even on safari) that fail to arouse any extreme emotion in the average person... The impala, for instance, is a beautiful creature that, on first viewing, raises an 'Ahhhhhhhh' from most people.... but the 100th impala rarely has the same effect. 
There are other groups of animals that are however destined for a life of being either 100% loved or equally hated by most people - and familiarity does not lessen these opinions by a single degree. One such animal is the snake - and, you guessed it - I love 'em. If they make you shudder - maybe you'd better move on to the next story.....
We were visiting a place called' Kenya Marineland' which is situated on the coast at a place called Mtwapa Creek. (There is a sign on the main road some miles away that calls this 'Mtwapa On the Sea' - a curiously English name stuck in the middle of Kenya.....). Marineland is cross between a small zoo, croc breeding farm, cultural centre and restaurant/shopping area - i.e. it's a tourist attraction.
One of the main exhibits is a small reptile collection which I made a beeline for... They had one rather super and friendly python which the keeper allowed people to handle - so I was very happy to have it draped around my neck for a quick cuddle....
To be more precise, I was very happy - but the snake wasn't... it made it quite clear after a few minutes that it wanted to get away from me... The keeper noticed its agitation and quickly came and took it off me - looking quite cross. 'You squeeze it too hard!' he shouted. The snake gave me a look as if to say 'I do the constricting round here - not you!'.... and seemed very relieved to be taken away to safety.....
A few days later we were sitting by the swimming pool in our hotel when some of the gardeners killed a black mamba in the flower beds not far away..... we'd never seen anything more dangerous than a monkey there before so we decided that the snakes of Kenya Marineland had sent a 'hit-snake' to get me in case I decided to pay a return visit.....
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ROB AT LARSEN'S
HEAVEN IS A PLACE... called Larsen's Camp in the Samburu Game Reserve in northern Kenya.....
It has 19 tents, a restaurant, a bar, a small shop, a small reception area - all under canvas (last time we were there they were also building a small, discrete swimming pool)...... and as much peace and quiet as one possibly hope for.... They also have a staff second to none and manage to cook food in a 'field kitchen' that would grace some 5-star hotels.... and I dream about it constantly......
All the tents overlook the Uaso Nyero river - where antelope, elephants, baboons and all manner of other animals come down to drink. In the Camp itself you can find yourself rubbing shoulders with monkeys, squirrels, mongooses, dik-dik (a small antelope), genet cats and all manner of birds - all of which live quite happily in close proximity to visitors.... it is genuinely the closest thing to the Garden of Eden - or Heaven itself- that is left on this earth...
For those of you who think that sleeping in tents is roughing it - maybe I should add that all tents have a separate shower, a flush toilet, free toiletries, fluffy towels, comfy beds (four-poster ones in some tents!) and a dressing table. Roughing it? I think not...
So - what hysterically funny or frightening events have happened to us at Larsen's? The answer is None. We have just enjoyed perfect days of peaceful bliss there.... every day we had there was filled with a contentment that is unlikely ever to be beaten in our lifetime. We've spent wedding anniversaries there - including our Silver one and our last visit was to celebrate Rob's 50th birthday (see picture)... when they lit our table with a glistening candelabra, baked him a cake and the whole staff came to sing for him... Our only sadness ever at Larsen's has been at leaving it...
To get to the Camp you have to be prepared to travel over one of the roughest roads in Kenya.... miles of bumping and bouncing around in a safari vehicle - that leaves you dusty, thirsty and tired - if not bruised!.... And it is worth every single, hot, back-breaking mile...
Like everyone else, Rob and I have no idea what the future will bring... but one thing is for sure.... we will be seeing Larsen's again. Anything else is unthinkable......
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All stories and photographs © Rosie Hardman, 2000.
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